WHAT IT REALLY MEANS TO START OVER
When my Instagram got hacked earlier this year, I lost years of memories, community, and confidence. Even in that chaos, I found small ways to ground myself again like slipping on my gold huggie earrings before heading out the door to a brand event with Sézane.
There’s just something about hoop earrings and my short pixie cut that makes me feel like myself. Lately, I’ve been playing around with different sizes small, medium, and large because I usually reach for the biggest hoops. I guess you could say I’m massaging my comfort muscles. A little reminder that change is necessary in every season if you want to keep growing.
That evening, I was getting dressed for the Sézane creator event in Atlanta. I didn’t realize how much my style mirrors my story until I stood in front of the camera recording my outfit. I decided to wear my everyday trench coat one of those timeless staples I grab every fall. I layered it over a denim button-up and a black mini skirt , then finished the look with knee-high boots. Every layer felt like a small reflection of where I am now grounded, evolving and still finding new ways to express myself.
On the way to the event, I couldn’t help but reflect on how far I’ve come. My last account had steady growth, but if I’m being honest, I had started to feel disconnected. It was a mix of old classmates, strangers, and people who never really engaged with the heart behind my work. When I lost that page, I was hurt I even cried. I think I was mostly afraid of the rebuilding process because, let’s be real, the algorithm can make anyone want to quit.
What I learned is that rebuilding from zero forced me to be intentional about the community I’m creating now one that actually cares about the story, not just the aesthetic. I wanted to go deeper with my storytelling, to post with purpose instead of pressure. I started asking myself is this really serving anyone? Am I being true to myself? Am I letting go of perfection?
Losing my account came at the worst possible time. I was in the middle of negotiating a brand deal with a beauty brand while juggling my full-time flight attendant schedule. Somewhere along the way, I had gotten so wrapped up in flying that I drifted from my creative “why.” Everything felt like it was falling apart at once. When life strips everything away, all that’s left is your why and that’s what I had to rediscover.
I had to ask myself why did I start creating in the first place? The answer was simple it was never about perfection or validation. It was about freedom. This blog started years ago when I first moved to Atlanta, during a season when I was ready to get out of Newark, NJ, bet on myself, and use my media degree. I was so eager to come to Atlanta and work in my field and I did it, through all the trials, tribulations, LinkedIn DMs, and even layoffs. Writing helped me process my thoughts, creating helped me breathe and little by little, it turned into content something bigger, something I like to call my Black Girl Diary.
This season of starting over has taught me that discipline is a form of self-love. It’s showing up for yourself even when life feels heavy. Even when you’re tired after a long day of work. Even when the algorithm seems to forget your name. That’s what separates wanting something from truly working for it.
As a black creator, it often feels like we have to show up ten times harder not just to be seen, but to be taken seriously. The world applauds our results but rarely acknowledges the grind behind them. That’s why I create from my soul, not for trends. I want my work to speak to the girls like me the ones figuring it out, the ones failing and trying again, the ones who just need to see someone else keep going. Starting over taught me that growth doesn’t always look glamorous. Sometimes it’s slow sometimes it’s lonely but it’s still growth. It’s still valid.
I took these photos before the event not just because I loved my outfit but because I wanted to remember how it felt to stand tall again. To remind myself that even after losing everything, I still belong here. Starting over didn’t disqualify me it proved that I can bounce back, rebuild, and keep showing up no matter what. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s what’s for you can’t be deleted
For anyone who’s chasing something and feels stuck, remember this is part of your journey. The storyline doesn’t build character when it’s perfect it builds character when you keep going.
This post was created in paid collaboration with Responsival. Some links may be affiliate links, meaning I may earn commission if you purchase through them. As always all thought and opinions are my own.